Aaron and I often debate about whether or not wayward children come out as rebels or whether it is because of upbringing and things that happen in the home. Everyone knows stories of those "parents of the year" who have one child who is just wild. Or the kids who come from "that home" where it's so obvious that love and attention are hard to come by. My best guess is that both individual personality and parental guidance play strong roles but which one wins out?
I'm no psychology major but I tend to side with the environment in the home. But I'm also the kind of person who believes there is a reason for everything. Maybe I'm looking for something to "blame" or to "reason" why someone's behavior or attitude is how it is. So many times you can look at a person and their parents and its striking how similar they are. But my husband is so extremly different from his family that I wonder, where is the logic there?
Well, I could rattle on and on about this but since I've left my own childhood home and have learned to govern myself and now my daughter I find myself already feeling the need to have rules and guidelines prepared for my future family. The world is only going to get trickier and more confusing so I strongly believe that the home is the home base for education and life-training. And for those of you who don't have kids, it's never too late to work on yourself more.
Some thing I've come across that help build up and unify the family unit are:
Family Mottos
Family Mottos
(Broaden and Contribute)
71toes@blogspot.comOr Family Rules boards:
What I like about these ideas are that you can make them personalized to each family. Plus it's cute and gets the whole family involved.
So, I put it out to you...what are some of the rules that helped your family growing up? What were some family traditions that kept you together? What guidelines were in place that helped you stay out of the mud? Be them little or big.. maybe this topic is too broad, but, I'll be posting more about this in the future because it's right up my alley at this stage in life and I always enjoy hearing words of wisdom from you who have already been in the trenches or have found something that works for you.
Ok, stop reading and comment already!
In my home growing up the unwritten laws were "I want to be kind to everyone" and "kindness begins with me." This was accomplished largely through my parents' examples and my mom often singing those songs. In my home now we have posted on our wall "Pray Play Work Worship" as our family motto. I also want to post sometime "Love Devotion Service". I've also posted "Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth" near paintings of homes we've lived in and "How Dear to God are Little Children" next to the kids' baby pictures. Have fun developing your own family values!
ReplyDeleteVery thought provoking post, Jenna. Since I love "all things family"...this is right up my alley. I think my growing-up family, how my parents took care of us, took time with us, followed the gospel, had fun with us, worked with us, etc., had a huge impact on why I am the way I am now. I knew I wanted to raise my own family in much the same way. I do believe, also, that little ones come with their ovwn personalities and challenges. This adds to the mix. It is very exciting to evolve as husband and wife, and then the adding in of children. Thank goodness babies arrive as babies and grow little by little. The home has extreme influence on the entire family forever. It is very magical. Watch, listen, learn...decide what is best for your family. Motto's are so much fun and remembered. Rules..we had very few rules. No hitting...no calling anyone stupid or dumb...ever!And, the punishment had to fit the crime and age of each child. You children loved making posterboard with family rules and what would happen if you did not follow those rules. We were blessed with very obedient children, so, our challenges were in other areas.
ReplyDeleteI think soft voices, spending time together, working together, respect for each other and each others feelings no matter what your age...and something I don't hear many parents talk about...I believe children who are well rested and who eat good healthy meals, seem to be better capable to listen, cooperate, engage positively, etc. Just my own thoughts that worked so well for our family.
Glad you will address this again. Their is so much to say and discuss. It is so interesting and so important. Thanks for such a good post. xoxo
Our family motto is basically "For the Strength of Youth." We read one chapter every week during FHE, and the children about have it memorized.
ReplyDeleteMom, what other challenges?! I know you don't mean anything I ever did..hehe. Thank you everyone for responding. I liked reading what you do in your homes and will apply them to my own home as well!
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